First, don’t deny the hikikomori

'Shaping a society that does not deny hikikomori, a society without prejudice, is the first step to solve the problem.'

KIM HYUN-YEThe author is a Tokyo correspondent of the JoongAng Ilbo. A gas meter reading agent knocked on the door of an apartment in Sapporo, Hokkaido, Japan on January 6, 2018. He felt something was wrong and asked neighbors for help. When they finally entered the house, the ominous feeling turned out to be true. They found two dead bodies — an 82-year-old mother and her 52-year-old daughter.

The cause of their death was hypothermia and malnutrition. The mother was presumed to have died in mid-December 2017 and the daughter about 10 days later.

The daughter was seen last ten days before their bodies were found. At the time, she was crouching alone in front of the house. When a neighbor spoke to her, she said, “I am okay,” and returned home. Neighbors were shocked after the police investigation. The refrigerator was empty, but 90,000 yen ($607) in cash was found inside the apartment.

Behind the lonely deaths of the two women lies the issue of extreme social withdrawal, or hikikomori, reported NHK.

The daughter, who graduated from school and once had a career, did not go out of the house for more than 10 years. The mother, who was the only one the daughter could rely on, had no place to get help or discuss the daughter’s problem. The daughter was in despair after her mother’s death, and died without reporting her mother’s death.

Why do these things happen? In his book “Middle-aged and Elderly Social Withdrawals,” psychologist Tamaki Saito pointed out the cause of the so-called “5080 problem” of parents in their 80s taking care of hikikomori children in their 50s. First, the age when they start a reclusive life went up. Some 20 years ago, the average age was 15, but now, it is 21 or older. Once a person goes into social withdrawal, the average time of social disconnection is 13 years.

Recently, the Korean government stepped in to resolve the youth social withdrawal issue. A survey result showing the existence of 540,000 lonely youths was shared for the first time. The government plans to offer counseling and create an agency in charge. It is encouraging news.

If so, they should listen to the advice of Rika Ueda — secretary-general of the KHJ National Hikikomori Family Association of Japan — who has been engaged in self-help activities. “The socially withdrawn people are the ones who hid their existence from society as a last resort to protect their dignity. Don’t assume that they don’t think just because they don’t speak up. The problem should not be treated as parental laziness or personal weakness. Shaping a society that does not deny hikikomori, a society without prejudice, is the first step to solve the problem.”