"Possible to plan our lives" in Taiwan, and the lives of LGBTQs in South Korea and Japan[Marriage for All: Questioning the Right to Oppose]

The different political situations in South Korea, Taiwan and Japan affect the lives of the actual LGBTQ people. We interviewed LGBTQ couples and listened to how legislation and systems affected their lives. The interviews of the couples in Taiwan and Japan were conducted through e-mail, while the interviews of the South Korean couples were conducted in person on September 25.

■ Taiwanese couple Zhang Qixiang and Kang Tingwei
Zhang Qixiang (39) and Kang Tingwei (32) met in a bakery near the Taipei Metro Houshanpi Station in Taiwan. It was when Zhang Qixiang, who is Malaysian, went to the National Taiwan University to take part in a doctoral program in 2013. Zhang was worried about being a foreigner because he could have to return to Malaysia if he was unable to find work in Taiwan. Since it was 2013, there was no hope for same-sex marriages, and he couldn’t just start a relationship transcending borders as he pleased. But Kang Tingwei came to the store for almost six months and Zhang said, "Gradually, I opened up to the relationship."

In 2016, when tensions escalated as Taiwan awaited a decision by the Judicial Yuan on whether the Civil Code restricting marriage to a male and female couple was constitutional, Zhang asked Kang, "If same-sex marriage is legalized next year, will you marry me?" after returning from a queer parade. Zhang, who had never considered marriage as an option in his life, said, "It was the first time that marriage felt so close to me."

In 2017, the Judicial Yuan ruled that the clause in the Civil Code was unconstitutional and recommended the Legislative Yuan (parliament) to amend the Civil Code within two years. The couple thought that they would be able to get married in two years, but the amendment did not include transnational same-sex marriage. That their relationship was not legally recognized meant that they could not plan their lives together. Zhang’s concerns grew as he pondered whether he would have to go between the two countries after graduation.

The situation changed in January 2023 when the Executive Yuan sent a letter claiming it would expand same-sex marriage to transnational couples. Kang said, "We were overjoyed. We rushed to register as soon as they began taking registrations." Zhang said, "At last, we were able to live together peacefully in one country without any legal problems," adding, "Such stability had a huge effect on planning my life."

Adoption became a possibility in May, and now the couple can consider expanding their family. Zhang said, "It’s another step in planning our lives,"and said he felt his life was much more open now. The couple are considering adoption. Kang said, "There are many children struggling to lead independent lives without parents, and I would like to give them the love of a family and grow with them."

When it comes to protecting LGBTQ rights, Taiwan is at the forefront in Asia. Kang said, "If it were not for the many conscious and brave people, we would not have today’s Taiwan."

■ Japanese couple Olivier Fabre and Toru Yagi
Olivier Favre (56), a Frenchman living in Tokyo,and the Japanese Toru Yagi (44) have been in a relationship for over two decades. In Japan, it is not easy to come out as an LGBTQ to the people around you. Twenty years ago, when Yagi first came out as gay to his family, his mother couldn’t accept it. With the passage of time, things are changing. Fabre said, "Change was possible after LGBTQ issues were mentioned more in Japanese media, particularly the news." This year, the two men spent the New Year together with their family for the first time.
When your relationship is not recognized as legal, it means there are many inconveniences.
The couplehad trouble finding a landlord who would rent a home to two men, when looking for a home. When one of them falls ill, that is another cause for concern. "It’s something we worry about more as we age together," Fabre said, adding, "Earthquakes are frequent in Japan, and I worry about what we should do if one of us gets injured in an earthquake."

Fabre’s maternal grandmother is Japanese, making him a third-generation Japanese, but he is a French national. The couple considered immigrating to France together, but decided to remain in Japan. "Because we believe that things will change in our lifetime," Fabre said.
In 2015, the Shibuya Ward in Tokyo passed an ordinance allowing the issuance of a common marriage certificate to same-sex couples--a major turning point in LGBTQ rights in Japan. Corporations were the fastest to adapt to the change. Since 2017, some Japanese banks began allowing same-sex couples to apply for home mortgage loans. "We bought a house together at that time, and it was much more reasonable than paying rent," said Fabre. More companies are expanding their services to same-sex couples, such as family discounts. Some municipal hospitals have also begun to treat same-sex partners as family. If a partner is sick, they can stay while the doctor examines the partner and can offer their opinions to the doctor. It’s a small step, but hospitals have begun expanding the scope of the legal guardian.
Last March, the Sapporo District Court was the first to rule that not recognizing the legal effects of marriage to same-sex couples was unconstitutional. Since then, a series of similar court rulings have followed, but the couple could not feel the change firsthand.

"Unfortunately, in Japan, it is still up to the government to enact a bill permitting same-sex marriage,"said Fabre. Nevertheless, the couple plans to apply for a same-sex marriage certificate in Tokyo. Fabre explained, "It is a way for us to officially be counted and be seen."
The situation in Taiwan is a hopeful future for the Japanese couple, and the South Korean situation is also important. Fabre sent a message of solidarity to the LGBTQ community in South Korea. "I just want you to know that the struggle for equality is not yours alone. Know that there are people all over the world who stand in solidarity with you. Every person has the right to marry the person they love."

■ South Korean couple So Sung-uk (Seong-wook) and Kim Yong-min
The gay couple So Sung-uk (32) and Kim Yong-min (31) had a wedding in May 2019. Although the couple was not recognized as a legally married couple, the following February, So was registered as Kim’s dependent in his workplace National Health Insurancepolicy. Eight months later, the couple mentioned this in an interview. Two hours after the interview was published, an employee from the National Health Insurance Service informed the couple that it was a mistake and that they would cancel the registration. "They didn’t even send us a notice. They just canceled with one phone call. We were flabbergasted," said Kim, adding, "What angered us the most was the idea that our relationship could be written off in an instant."

The couple filed a lawsuit in February 2021 and in an appeals trial in February 2023, the court ruled that the state should recognize same-sex couples as eligible to be listed as dependents for the National Health Insurance. It was the first ruling where the court acknowledged the rights of same-sex couples in the social security system.

In a South Korean society, designed mainly for the "normal family,"the two men felt alienated from society and systems. Even when they were delivered the results of the appeals trial via registered post, Kim could not receive the letter because he was "not family." His partner, So was doing the dishes at the time and had asked him to receive the letter for him, but the situation rendered his words meaningless.

The couple’s family and acquaintances see their relationship as natural. Recently, the couple went to the wedding of So’s acquaintance. The groom casually introduced Kim as So’s husband to the bride’s friend. The couple think that only political forces pretend not to notice their relationship. Kim said, "The two major parties speak of the people’s livelihoods, but we are only an issue that triggers political strife," and added, "Major political powers don’t even think of LGBTQ citizens as people."

In spite of this, they believe that it’s only a matter of time before politicians change. In a domestic survey conducted by Gallup Korea in June, nearly 40% of people said they were in favor of legalizing same-sex marriage. The number of people supportingsame-sex marriage has been gradually increasing since 2017. Yet politicians still mention a social consensus. So said, "The percentage of people in favor of same-sex marriage is higher than the percentage of people supporting politicians who talk about a social consensus."

The couple also findmore and more people cheering for them. Just before they won in the appeals trial, when they were on the subway, a man approached Kim and held out his cell phone. On the screen, there was a note that read, "I am following your news. I support you." Kim said, "We were touched realizing that there were people who supported us even if they did not show themselves."

The couple dreams of becoming a happily married old couple. Kim mentioned a survey by a youth organization, which said that LGBTQ teenagers wanted to meet older LGBTQ people and said, "I want to show them that you can live a good normal life."

■ South Korean couple Kim Kyu-jin and Kim Sae-yeon, now Rani’s moms
Kim Kyu-jin(32), the author of the essay collection, Unni (Sis), Will You Marry Me? and her spouse Kim Sae-yeon (35) received their marriage certificate in New York in 2019 and became a married couple. Four years later, Kyu-jin was impregnated through in vitro fertilization (IVF) with sperm from a fertility clinic in Belgium. On August 30, she gave birth to her daughter, Rani.

The women were the first same-sex couple in South Korea to make public the pregnancy and birth of a child. Kyu-jin said, "I thought if people were going to find out anyways, we might as well make it big news," and explained, "During the four years, I realized that people could change a lot even if we just awaken their imagination once." That’s how things were with Sae-yeon’s colleagues. Sae-yeon, a doctor, came out as a lesbian in her hospital in March. At the time, there was a colleague who didn’t understand her situation, but recently, he expressed his frustration asking why the hospital didn’t give Sae-yeon spousal maternity leave. He sympathized with her and tried to comfort her. Sae-yeon said, "He came to understand my position in six months."

Laws and systems still refuse to budge. Sae-yeon asked the hospital for spousal maternity leave, but her request was not accepted. She thought the hospital had discretion over the matter, but the hospital responded with "legal grounds." What was sad was that the legal grounds that the hospital presented was the ruling from So Sung-uk and Kim Yong-min’s appeals trial for National Health Insurance eligibility. It was a significant ruling for LGBTQ couples, because it made it possible for same-sex couples to be eligible as dependents for the National Health Insurance, but the sentence that the hospital quoted from the ruling was "They are not a spouse according to current law and precedents." Sae-yeon said, "The purpose of the court decision was that it violated the principle of equality, but I was upset to see it used in that way."

Still, registering the birth of Rani was easier than registering their marriage. When the couple registered their marriage in South Korea four years ago, it took them four hours, because the surprised district office employee had to call her superior. It only took the couple thirty minutes to register the birth of their daughter. The couple stated Kyu-jin as the "mother" and Sae-yeon as the "father" when registering Rani’s birth and received a certificate of non-acceptance of report. The certificate of non-acceptance of report stipulates, "The person who gave birth is the ‘mother’ and ‘the father’ cannot be a woman, so the report is unacceptable."
"It was expected," said Kyu-jin, adding, "We need to register to create a precedent, and statistically, creating a one is important."Of course, personally getting rejected was a different experience. Kyu-jin said, "I thought about how much explaining we would have to do to prove that Sae-yeon was Rani’s mother." When they went public with the pregnancy, they often came across online comments asking them what they were going to tell the child and criticizing them for being selfish. Kyu-jin said, "We thought harder than anyone else about what we were going to tell our child." She further said, "We will tell her that there are diverse families, such as families with grandparents and grandchildren only and group homes, and explain things as they are."

On the political front, the situation is frustrating. Kyu-jin said, "When it’s time for the parliamentary elections, they will drag out the LGBTQ issue again and everyone will be upset." She thinks it’s hilarious how politicians keep mentioning a social consensus. Sae-yeon said, "There has never been a social consensus on raising the allowance of lawmakers," and added, "A politician is a being who exists to build a social consensus."

The belief in change and the thought that it’s only a matter of time are what drive the two women. Kyu-jin said, "There was a time when I despaired thinking that we were the only ones stuck and going nowhere, but when I see the change happening around us, I now think there is no reason why we cannot change."