Korean divorcées can't even agree on holiday complaints

Divorced Korean men say time spent at the houses of their in-laws was the biggest cause of quarreling during their marriage. Divorced women say it was the unfair division of labor in preparing for charye — ritually putting out food for ancestors.

Charye, the rite of putting out food for ancestors, involves a table full of various traditional food. [YONHAP]

Divorced Korean men say time spent at the houses of their in-laws was the biggest cause of quarreling during their marriage. Divorced women say it was the unfair division of labor in preparing for charye — ritually putting out food for ancestors.

Two dating agencies conducted a survey of 536 divorced singles, 268 from each sex, from Jan. 9 to Jan. 14. on what caused disputes during their marriages when Korean traditional holidays, such as the Lunar New Year and Chuseok, drew near.

Of those surveyed, 32.1 percent of divorced men said it was time spent at in-law's houses, 27.2 percent awkwardness with the in-laws, 21.3 percent deciding on whether to visit the in-laws, and 11.2 percent preparing gifts for the wives' parents.

For women, unfair roles in charye preparations topped at 34.3 percent, followed by time spent at the houses of in-laws at 25.0 percent, awkwardness with the in-laws at 18.3 percent, and deciding on whether to visit the in-laws at 14.6 percent.

Of the divorced men, 25.1 percent said complex formalities are a Korean holiday tradition that is most in need for improvement, excessive food preparations 26.1 percent, women-led holiday preparations 18.2 percent, and gapjil, or abuse of power, from the wives' parents, 13.1 percent.

Of the divorced women, 38.1 percent thought men's expectations for wives to fulfill filial duties to the parents of their husbands need to change as soon as possible, 22.0 percent thought gapjil from the husbands' parents needs to stopped, while 18.2 percent said women-led holiday preparations have to go and excessive food preparations 14.5 percent.

Of all the respondents, 36.0 percent said disputes most frequently ignited over the Korean traditional holiday period during their marriage.

BY LEE BO-RAM [sohn.dongjoo@joongang.co.kr]