'Love is out there, but you have to be willing to get it' — words from a matchmaking monk

Venerable Myojang, the monk who oversaw the hit matchmaking temple stay program “Naneun Jeollo” — which drew enormous attention with a competition rate as high as 128 to 1 — has released a new essay collection.

Venerable Myojang, chief of the Jogye Order, speaks at an interview with the JoongAng Ilbo on Nov. 8, 2024. [JUN MIN-KYU]

Venerable Myojang, the monk who oversaw the hit matchmaking temple stay program “Naneun Jeollo” — which drew enormous attention with a competition rate as high as 128 to 1 — has released a new essay collection.

Venerable Myojang, chief of the Jogye Order, announced Monday that he compiled insights gained over two years running the program into a book titled "There May Be People Who Are Not Meant for You, But There Is No Such Thing as No Connection at All." The book has been published by Bulkwang Publishing, a company that specializes in Buddhist books and magazines.

“Even when searching for a partner, people need to learn how to temper their desires," the monk said at a press meeting in Jongno District, central Seoul, on Monday.

"Couples tend to form most successfully in their late 20s and early 30s, when expectations are moderate and partners are more open to accepting one another’s shortcomings," he said, noting that as people move into their late 30s and build career success, their expectations rise and dating becomes more difficult.

"I thought that older people would find their matches easier because they would have become more self-aware and lower their expectations, but it didn't turn out that way," he said.

Young women and men take part in the Buddhist matchmaking temple stay program ″Naneun Jeollo″ in 2023. [JANG SEO-YUN]

"Requests have even come from participants in their 50s, but matching them up was challenging because both they and their parents tended to have particularly high expectations," he said.

Differences in stamina also played a role. Participants in their 20s stayed lively and engaged until 2 or 3 a.m., while many in their 40s treated the event more like a work gathering, calling it a night by 10 p.m.

"I hope they can find other forms of love," he said, advising participants to value different forms of connection.

The program, inspired by the reality dating show “I'm Solo” (2017-), adapts the concept to a temple setting with tea instead of alcohol and a solemn atmosphere of conversation. It was launched in recognition of the country’s low birthrate crisis, which the Jogye Order compared to a national disaster.

Young women and men take part in the Buddhist matchmaking temple stay program ″Naneun Jeollo″ in 2023. [JANG SEO-YUN]

Applications were initially scarce, but demand has since surged. For the upcoming session at Sinheung Temple, 2,620 people applied for 24 spots, with female applicants facing a 128-to-1 competition rate. The program has already produced real-life results: couples who met at sessions held at Naksan and Baengyang temples are preparing for marriage.

“Everyone seeks happiness, but life is always a mix of joy and hardship," he said. "When difficulties come, I hope people can be each other’s reliable support and a source of shade and comfort.”

This article was originally written in Korean and translated by a bilingual reporter with the help of generative AI tools. It was then edited by a native English-speaking editor. All AI-assisted translations are reviewed and refined by our newsroom. BY SHIN HYE-YEON [yoon.soyeon@joongang.co.kr]