Filipino woman regains independence after troubled marraige

[한겨레] The director of the Yeongam Happy Family Counseling Center says that marriage migrant women must be treated as members of the family

By Song Chae Kyung-hwa

It was on April 15, 2009, that Karin (not her real name), a 28-year-old Filipino woman who emigrated to South Korea through marriage, decided to leave her in-laws' home. After suffering frequent abuse from her husband since their marriage three years before, Karin was receiving counseling at the Yeongam Happy Family Counseling Center in Yeongam County, South Jeolla Province. She trembled with fear, so much so that she reflexively hid under a desk when she saw husband Kim Yeong-min (not his real name), 48, coming into the center. He rejected the counseling center's mediation efforts and suggestions. For Karin, there was no hope.

There was a more important reason for Karin's decision to become independent after going through a frequent cycle in which she fled to a friend's house for days at a time to avoid violence from her drunken husband, only to eventually return. It was around that time that she learned that she was pregnant. But her husband tried to force her to have an abortion, saying that the child was not his. She tried to convince him, but to no avail, and her mother-in-law and sister-in-law did not take her side. It seemed like the sky was falling down on her. Moreover, as a Catholic, Karin did not feel she could accept abortion as an option.

After leaving home, Karin was introduced by the counseling center to the Jeonnam Migrant Women's Protection Center, where she lived as the baby grew. In November of last year, after more than ten hours of labor, she gave birth to a healthy baby boy. The person who looked after the new mother was not a family member, but the center Director Na Myeong-hui. Hearing of the childbirth, Kim refused to accept the child, even rejecting the center's and Karin's request for a paternity test.

Having made up her mind to stand alone, Karin endured a second blow from her in-laws this summer. When they visited her at that time, they behaved completely differently. Her mother-in-law had been immobilized by a stroke, and they needed someone to look after her. Karin thought over the matter deeply before finally deciding not to go back. She resolved to get a divorce.

"Karin has always said that because of the affection she feels for her son, she'd like to go back home if she could just be sure about her husband's feelings," Na said. "But she realized that instead of accepting her as part of the family, her in-laws just wanted someone to take care of the sick mother-in-law. It was anguishing for her."

Last Wednesday evening, a first birthday celebration was held for son Joon-soo at a family restaurant in Mokpo, South Jeolla Province, as his mother looked on in tears. The occasion was organized by CJ Donors Camp, an organization that supports education for children from underprivileged families, after it heard of Karin's plight. The family of forty or so revelers celebrating Joon-soo's birthday include Karin's friends from the Philippines and staff members from the counseling center and migrant women's protection center.

An emotional Karin said, "I want to study Korean hard so that I can get a good job and raise my son to be strong and healthy."

Na said, "There are cases where women like Karin who come to Korea through marriage are not treated as true members of the family."

Na added, "All family members, not just the husband but the in-laws as well, need to receive multicultural education."

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